your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
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