He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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