So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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