Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
