sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Acid is not a monday night drug
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize