I'm really into asian looking animals
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
sarcasm needs its own font
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
