Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
