Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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