he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
