12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize