OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
