well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
