Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
