So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
