Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
