She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
and she was petting her beer can
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
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