Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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