Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize