Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
