so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
