sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
