Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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