Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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