Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
