my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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