My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
