dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The power of my boobs compel you
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
