i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
