Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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