Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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