ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize