she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
