Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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