Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
