It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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