You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
