I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
