my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
