we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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