What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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