community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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