That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
