Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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