just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
