Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
