Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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