white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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