if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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