He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
this boner is exhausting
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
