i think i have herpe
just one?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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