Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You're a waste of cheezeits
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
