I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
