just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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