I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
