I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
