So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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