This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
