it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
