you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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