Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
