i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
