if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
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