I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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