Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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