He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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