Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
