make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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