I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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