Christians are straight up FREAKS
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
