I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
