ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
