I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i came on her dog
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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