I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
